What This Pastor Hopes the Supreme Court Will Decide

This week the Supreme Court is expected to rule on two court cases: one regarding the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) which defines marriage as being between a man and a woman on a federal level, and the second on California’s Proposition 8 which banned same-sex marriage in that state. As a person of faith, I sincerely hope that the court rules to offer equal rights to same-sex couples but I also understand why many in the LGTBQ community don’t trust folks like me.

Let me share an example. At a recent regional gathering of Christian leaders, a man stood up and addressed the body.  He told his story about how the church was not present for him in his early life as a youth and as he struggled with his identity.  His struggle led to many dark nights and incidents of prejudice along the way. Another man got up shortly thereafter to confront the first man to let him know that he was going to hell.  Sadly, these stories are too common for Christians to not acknowledge that they have a problem.

But there is another side to this story as well. I recently had the privilege of reading a reflection from a high schooler who attended this same conference but didn’t have the opportunity to speak. She wrote about the day that a friend came out to her. This friend was nervous about telling her that she was a lesbian because the friend assumed that she would be judged – because she knew her friend was a Christian. This young person responded as most people under thirty do today, with a casual, “that’s cool” and the grace to know that one’s orientation isn’t something you judge people for.

The church, and our larger society, has a choice to make. We can continue to hold fast to our traditional understanding of sexuality or we could begin to recognize the role our preferences and prejudice may play in our understanding of what God approves of.

In the Methodist tradition I serve, we have three general rules:

1. Do all the good you can,
2. Do no harm, and
3. Stay in love with God.  

When it comes to the LGTBQ community, we, the church, have not done all the good we can and we have actually done harm on too many occasions.  We have harmed others by claiming God that does not love them, professing that their relationships are not of value, and by working against rights that we would defend for heterosexual couples.  By harming this population, we have made it very difficult for many to stay in love with God or even to consider such a possibility (check out recent data from Pew Research). 

As a Christian, I believe that prayer and reflection, and trying to follow Jesus’ teachings, shifts our perspective on life in positive ways. I believe that the church, at its best, enables people to work together to transform the community for the betterment of all.  That’s part of why I hope the Supreme Court rules in a way that continues to advance the rights of same-sex couples. It allows those churches that are ready to honor the committed relationships of its members, regardless of orientation, the freedom to do this, and the continued push forward will keep the pressure on those places where hearts are thawing and minds are changing.  

Despite the struggles of the church on this issue, I believe there is still more we can learn from Jesus. There is a story in Matthew’s Gospel where Jesus is approached by a Canaanite woman (read: outsider, unclean) who asks for healing for her daughter. Jesus’ initial response displays the prejudice of the times as he responds “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.” The woman offers a clever response and Jesus’ mind, and heart, are changed. Spiritual leadership isn’t always about being right; sometimes it is about recognizing when you are wrong and responding with love in place of arrogance or pride.

For too long the church has struggled to resist a changing of our own hearts and minds. I look forward and hope for the day when the church can stand in leadership again; welcoming all people, celebrating all relationships, and guiding all people on the spiritual journey of life.  I am thankful to pastor a church that is filled with people who journey in this direction and to continue to work to change hearts and minds.