Casey Kasem’s Wife Pelts Daughter With Raw Meat: The very public Casey Kasem family feud just got uglier when Casey Kasem’s daughter Kerri arrived at the home where her father was being kept and was immediately pelted with raw hamburger meat by Kasem’s wife Jean. I always wondered what was Jean’s beef - and now we know - it’s ground beef. In Jean’s defense, perhaps throwing the raw meat was just her way of sending out one of Casey’s “long distance dedications.”
Entire Wedding Party Falls Into a Lake as Dock Collapses: An entire wedding party fell into a lake as they all were posing for that perfect picture on a wooden dock that collapsed under all of their weight. Sadly, people always seem to underestimate the weight of chiffon. The whole incident was captured on “streaming” video, so at least the couple will be able to “soak up” the memories. One can only hope they aren't going on a cruise for their honeymoon.
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Play Canceled After Actor Fights Audience Member: Producers have canceled a Los Angeles revival of “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” after actor John Lacy broke character and went into the audience to fight a drunk heckler who was making gay slurs. Kind of makes you wonder just who goes to the theatre of all places to make gay slurs? Wouldn’t that be like owning a NBA team and then making racist comments - oh wait!
China Including More Women in Their Astronaut Program: Fans of social equality are praising China’s move to include more females in their space program, including 33-year-old Chinese military pilot Liu Yang who became her country’s first woman in space. I always suspected my ex-girlfriend secretly wanted to be an astronaut - she was constantly telling me “I need my space.”
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The 50th Anniversary of the Twist: This year marks the 50th anniversary of Chubby Checker’s hit song “the Twist,” which started a huge dance craze back in the early 1960’s. Sadly, about the closest that Chubby Checker comes to doing the twist these days is trying to twist the cap off his prostate medicine.
Study Finds 1.6 Million in US Living Without Indoor Plumbing: A new study based upon census data indicates that upwards of 1.6 million people in the US are living without full indoor plumbing. In an unexpected twist, the study also found that fewer bears now seem to be crapping in the woods.
Botched Surgery Leaves Woman With Uniboob: A 40-year-old woman's boob job was beginning to leak, so she went to a surgeon whom she later found out wasn't board certified, who placed her new implants so close together that they touched, leaving her with looks like a uniboob. Authorities are looking into whether this poor woman could be another victim of the uniboober. On a positive note, she’s now getting quite a few proposals from guys with unibrows. Breast assured, he’ll be sued for this.